Dad fell on the icy back porch 2 years ago, and this Thanksgiving, he had another fall. With a gash in his forehead and 4 broken ribs, he spent time in a rehab nursing home before being released to go home. Now that he's back to driving, he's still going around trying to get things done. God love him, he's an ornery 80 year old man and I would swear he is still a little kid at heart. He would do anything for anyone, but trying to get him to settle down now that he's feeling more like himself is a challenge. He volunteered at a food pantry every Monday, but helped unload the truck on Fridays and set up the coffee Sunday evenings so it could just be plugged in, he had silver sneakers program on 2 days a week, Wednesday night a planned meal with his group, lunches certain days of the week and he visited my mom everyday... I teased he needed to go back to work so he could relax!
My Mom is going on 4 years living in a local Alzheimers care Facility. My sister and brother and their families still live in our home town, I also have a sister and her family are 2 1/2 hours away and we are 12 hours by car. Which leaves my Dad living alone in a large 2 story home, that once lovingly housed our family of 6. My family moved to this house in November of 1969 before I was born. It's the only house I lived in until I got married. Mom and Dad stripped every piece of wood work, rewired, replaced cracked plaster walls and ceilings with drywall, built a garage, and so many more projects along the way. They made that house of theirs a home. The neighborhood was once a better situation. Living near a college campus, in the older area of town, is sometimes like that. The house is too big, too hard to keep clean and too dangerous as well. If only we could get dad out of that big house!
We had him convinced he needed to move to a smaller home without a basement to fall into and realization of how convenient having a bedroom, laundry and a shower on the first floor would be. My sister found the perfect house for him that was just a bit to high priced for its condition and location. He really liked it and did offer a low bid but it wasn't accepted right away With too much time passing, he changed his mind about moving all together. He said he's getting along just fine there. He decided that there are too many things on his current home to do list that needed to be taken care of first before he could think of selling. To much stuff in the attic the 4 bedrooms, office, closets, garage and basement.
When I was just there 2 weeks ago, we tried to make a dent in things... we went through 2 bedroom closets and a few piles of things he wanted me to see. At least a little progress has been made. I took home a Quilt mom made so I have 3 for my kids now. I also identified a few things for them not to sell or give away that I would like.
My son stayed an extra week and helped my sister take a whole wall stacked with boxes full of papers from the attic. My brother took a full filing cabinet and a dresser that was full of odds and ends out of there. She said they still owned every utility bill they ever had. There was even a box of paperwork under a bed that had check statements and cashed checks from 1968 before they moved to that house. Mom probably didn't know what to do with them before or after the move. My sister has access to a big shredder... thank you sister!! The attic is still full.
She has also been organizing her own home for a while now. She said that she learned if something that her family decided to get rid of sits around too long it gets drug back in. So knowing this, she said if something is not worth selling or keeping, it has to leave dads house right away. She also has given him an assignment to fill the garbage and recycling bin each week. His cans are not a very big, so if you don't fill it up it was missed opportunity to get rid of things.
Everyone is identifying things that they will like someday and if he doesn't need it he's letting them have it now rather than later. I'm sure there will be a smile on his face with each item he tells of where it came from and the story behind it. Other things that are from the family that the 4 off us don't plan to keep, he plans to send photos to family (cousins) and allow them to come get them too... all is good.
Dad is willing to have a garage sale in the summer so I guess every extra minute they all have will be spent getting things rounded up that dad is ready to part with. He doesn't want things just thrown away if there still good use to get out of it. If someone can use it he wants it to go to someone who could use it. Commendable, however with this much stuff and having a time line... some things will have to go! My brother plans to host the garage sale at his house so things that don't sell won't go back in the house. they will just go to goodwill or salvation army. Great plan!
He's making a list of things he needs to get done around the house and my brother and sisters and their families are helping cross them off. My sister's plan is that when the next home that hits the market and is perfect for him... nothing will be left to hold him back.
The moral of the story is to not hold onto paper work and things that are no longer needed. Shread or recycle unnecessary papers, give things away or sell them while they are still useful and don't build up and become such a burden later. Sure you will have keep sakes and treasures, but if they are buried in junk... how can they shine?
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